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English Version
“I was abadoned at age of one”
[Interview with Sung-Soo Kim] Ross Oke (28 years old) was adopted to the USA at the age of one
Korea is ranked 4th in the world for overseas adoption. Considering the size of its economy, such a ranking is shameful. Since overseas adoption began over half a century ago, Korea has sent over 200,000 children aboard. This large number has tarnished the image of the nation.
Various studies show that overseas Korean adoptee suicide rates are five times higher than non-adoptee rates. Korean adoptees are also more likely to suffer from drug abuse and social discrimination; however, most Koreans are unaware of this.
Although Korea has achieved remarkable economic development in the past decades, joining the ranks of OECD countries, it continues to send between 1,100 – 1,200 children abroad. Unless Korea reduces this rate dramatically, its international reputation will remain stained.
High commission fees from adoptive parents also make it difficult to reduce overseas adoptions. Adoption agencies receive around 10 million won per child for overseas adoption, unlike domestic adoption. In other words, overseas adoption is a very lucrative business for an adoption agency.
By actively supporting unwed mothers, the government would be providing the means to help mothers keep their children and reduce the rates of adoption.
I conducted e-mail interview with Mr. Ross Oke (28 years old), an oversea adoptee from the USA, between January 29 to 30. The below is Q& A with Ross.
- You were abandoned at age of one near Hwayang-dong, and you know of only your Korean name, Park Su-Woong. Could you tell me how you found that information?
There’s a police report that provides this information, although I don’t entirely believe what’s written because there have been some cases of these reports being fabricated to conceal the identity of the parents. According to the report, my name was written on a piece of paper and found in one of my pockets as I stood on the street. However, a year after I appeared in a Korea Times article, a person called claiming to be a relative and said the report was fabricated to hide the identity of my biological mother. Even though it turned out that I wasn’t related to the person, my American doctor supported the person’s claim that my recorded age probably wasn’t accurate because I seemed physically older than stated in my records.
Beyond my name and birth date, nothing else is known.
- You have lived in Korea since September 2004. Why?
I originally visited to learn about Korea. I was going to stay for three months, but after I met a group of adoptees, a few of them taught me about the current situation regarding the state of the social welfare system and international adoption in Korea. I became interested and reached out to an employee at a social welfare NGO to learn more. As this person told me about the situation in Korea, I became concerned and felt that as a Korean and as an adoptee I had to do something. I couldn’t simply turn away. Therefore, I decided to stay, and ever since then I’ve been involved in adoptee-related advocacy.
- Some overseas adoptees say that they need dual passports. Why is this?
I can’t speak for them. I think that each of them may have their own reasons. As for me, that’s never been a major concern.
- In your opinion, what is the best way to reduce overseas adoption or promote domestic adoption as an alternative?
I don’t think promoting domestic adoption is the best alternative because it fails to address fundamental issues that have allowed the system to exist. Overseas adoption isn’t the problem, but rather the result of a social welfare system that doesn’t provide adequate support for single mothers. And I question that if a system cannot provide support for this group, then how will it be able to support the rising number of biracial children and foreign families. Korean society is changing dynamically but as long as the policies and systems supporting families fail to change or address the root problems, domestic adoption will only be a temporary solution.
- The Korean government is concerned about the low birthrate yet they fail to provide adequate support for single mothers. Do you want to say anything about this to the Korean government?
I believe that the government should focus their policies and efforts on providing adequate support for single mothers. They also need to change the social attitudes towards adopted Korean children and single parent households including single mothers. As an adopted Korean and as a social advocate for adopted Koreans and single mothers, I’ve experienced and seen widespread discrimination. I’m not only referring to personal discrimination, but also institutional stigmatization. It isn’t only the government’s responsibility though. I think that everyone affected by adoption must participate in the discussion and this means expanding the scope beyond just government officials and adoption agencies. Single parents, single mothers, and adopted Koreans must also be included. Therefore, I’m asking the government not only to dedicate their attention to this situation but to also allow us to work with them and listen to what we have to say.
The government, as a representative entity of the people, has a responsibility to help parents, whether they are single or married, to support their children and cultivate a positive environment for all types of families. It’s a systematic problem that needs to be addressed. It isn’t just about offering more money, but recognizing the rights of all families. If the government cannot provide enough support for single mothers, then I ask what will happen in twenty years when society has changed to include multiracial families. The low birth rate and adoption are symptoms and unless the government and society recognize this, the situation will only worsen. It isn’t simply about resources, but also the attitude of society.
- Do you know anything about your biological parents? If you don’t, what should the Korean government do about this?
I don’t know anything about my biological parents. I think the government has done a lot in the development of K-Care; however, I think they can do more by including adopted Koreans in the discussion. Adopted Koreans searching for their parents or their personal information should have an additional source to refer to instead of only the agencies. The problem with only a single source such as an agency, especially when it’s a private entity, is that there is little that can be done to challenge what’s written. If an adopted Korean doesn’t believe what’s written, then he or she should be able to access additional sources or investigate further to understand how such information was gathered. In my own case, if I disagree with the report that the agency gives me, then there’s little else I can do. This isn’t to criticize the agencies, rather I’m suggesting that there should be an open and transparent process to obtain information and further investigate it if we choose to do so and this requires more than a single entity overseeing records.
- Are you still looking for your biological parents? If not, why?
No. I haven’t looked, partly because I have very little information to even begin searching. If I would have searched, I wouldn’t have been able to dedicate as much attention as I have towards social advocacy.
- Could you tell me about your most painful experience or feeling as an overseas adoptee?
My most painful experience wasn’t in the U.S. but in Korea. I learned that as an adoptee, I’m regarded as the lowest class in Korea. I used to tell Koreans that I was adopted, and while many people sympathized with me, it was often pity, and I felt how differently they treated me.
I’ve seen many adopted Koreans who hope to marry or become part of a Korean family and were rejected for his or her status as adopted Koreans. There’s still strong discrimination against us which is apparent if one’s lived here long enough. As long as this attitude persists, then it’ll be quite difficult for society to openly accept others.
When I think about the status of adopted children in Korea, that’s the most painful experience because in this society, a person is recognized according to his or her family and if one doesn’t have that, then it’s as if he or she doesn’t exist.
You are a member of TRACK. Please tell me about the role, TRACK achievements, and any limitations you’ve experienced.
I’m a cofounder of TRACK. My official position is the Director of Administration, although my actual work will change depending on the activities we’re involved in. Currently, I’m involved in fund raising and budgeting. I encourage people to visit our website to find out more information regarding TRACK’s achievements.
Our main limitations have been gaining recognition from the government. I also think that many people feel that adoption isn’t a central issue. However, as I see the rising number of biracial children and foreign brides in the countryside and the increasing number of foreigners entering the country, I see this society undergoing dramatic changes in the coming years. When a group of people feel excluded in society, it weakens that society. Therefore, it’s vital that we address the rights of single parent families and adopted children, because adoption and single parent stigmatization have been an issue for decades. And if these people remain marginalized, then how can Korea include others? I think that if Korea wishes to be a globalized society, then it has the opportunity to be just that, but its success will depend on how well it can accept and protect the rights of all of its citizens. If we want a bright future that includes all members of society, then we must act now.